Changing the Overdose Narrative Starts with a Simple Choice: Will You Be Active or Passive in Your Awareness?
After losing her son and daughter to overdoses, Face the Facts Delaware co-founder Penny Rogers calls on Delawareans to turn awareness into action by sharing stories, supporting grieving families, and challenging the stigma surrounding substance use disorder.
Nine years ago, I lost my 23-year-old son, Vincente, to an overdose. I quickly realized several things. First, an incredible stigma existed around substance use disorder (SUD), which left far too many loved ones suffering in silence. Second, in order to survive, I needed an outlet for my grief — a way to channel my love for Vincente and make a difference. From there, Face the Facts Delaware was born and grew into a grassroots force, thanks to amazing volunteers.
Being co-founder and executive director has provided me a decade of lessons. However, what I share today stems from a single comment, made by one person a few months ago, after I lost my daughter, Gabriella, to an overdose. “If you couldn’t save a second one,” the person said, “don’t you think it’s time you closed up shop?”
Of all the reactions I could have had, I was amazed at how utterly unaware this person was. Yes, they knew stats about the opioid crisis and overdose deaths. They were “aware” of high-level factors involved in SUDs. But in terms of true awareness — what Face the Facts Delaware considers awareness at its most powerful — this person had none.
If they were truly aware, they would have seen my pain. They would have known that if a person active in their addiction isn’t open to change, no amount of parenting or tough love can save them. They would have recognized that they could easily be in my shoes someday. They would’ve made the choice in that moment to share a story that brought us together — to open a door for us to journey forward in mutual support.
By definition, awareness is a rather passive term. I believe being aware in this traditional sense is important. However, preventing overdose deaths and supporting sustainable recovery comes down to every person’s choice to be active in their awareness. We need to open our eyes to the collateral damage of overdose deaths. We need to look in our hearts, find a life experience we know will help, and then share that story.
I’m occasionally criticized for using the term “collateral damage.” “Penny, that’s so harsh. Where’s your compassion?” Overdose loss is harsh. Partners lose partners. Siblings lose siblings. Parents lose children. Children lose parents. The pain is real. Life is never the same — but it goes on. Creating a safe, compassionate community where we can talk about the people we’ve lost, allows us to be comfortable existing with the people who are still alive.
A woman has attended our monthly meetings at the Redemption Addiction Treatment Center for eight years. Eleven years ago, she lost her son to an overdose. To this day, almost everyone she knows believes he died from another cause — a “real disease,” without stigma. Our meeting is the one place this mom can safely shed the shame and honor her son’s reality. She comes because we do not pass judgment. We share stories, create connections, and are here for her when she’s ready to share her own.
Another person engaged with us is one of the first people supported by our Vincent Tambourelli Family Assistance Fund, which helped pay for her brother’s cremation and funeral. She’s been one of our most active volunteers for years. Instead of letting her grief consume her, she works for the mission. She continues to draw strength from hearing and sharing experiences and stories. These powerful examples are just two out of hundreds.
I remember how the executive director of the Delaware Opioid Settlement Commission responded when I asked why he chose me for the Public Outreach and Community Input Committee. “Because, Penny, you’re not a social media influencer or a public figure. You’re a mom from Delaware who, by honoring your kids, has created a trusted network that knows how to engage with a community and inspire them to share.” I am humbled by this opportunity to bring our community’s voice to the table where funding decisions are made to support overdose reduction and SUD recovery initiatives.
Aug. 31 marks International Overdose Awareness Day, and on Sept. 12, Face the Facts Delaware will host our Overdose Awareness Day event. I encourage Delawareans to be more than passively aware of the global observation and our local event. We owe it to ourselves, our communities, and all the beautiful people Delaware has lost to overdoses to keep finding ways to activate our awareness. Not all of us need to start an organization or sit on a committee. Maybe you can write a check, donate furniture to a recovery house, or drop off a case of tuna at a food bank. Hopefully you can also join us on Sept. 12.
Above all, I encourage everyone to be aware of the people around you — everywhere, every day. If you need a place to start, visit our social pages and reflect on the hundreds of faces of addiction. Connect with families who are suffering. Be aware of how you can support your neighbor simply by sharing your story. Whether you do this one-on-one, in a group, or through social media, you will help dismantle the stigma and change the overdose narrative.